I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
