But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize