not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
