Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I came so hard my ears popped.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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