been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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