So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize