I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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