Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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