you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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