Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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