remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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