In the future we'll all be gay
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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