Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
