Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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