yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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