i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
