Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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