Dude my mom stole all your condoms
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
