you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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