Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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