I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
