Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
