Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
