these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
