Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
