when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
