Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
