i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You have to summon your inner elephant
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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