I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
