do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize