oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
