bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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