There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
