i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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