I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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