I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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