she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize