A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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