sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
