Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
