so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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