I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i was born a porn star she said
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
should my penis look like a turkey
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
