you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
