We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize