He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
