i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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