If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
