You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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