You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
