Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
