so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
