Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
