He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
