even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
