Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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