Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
