I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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