YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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