what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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