A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
