ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't turn off my feet"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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