# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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