I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How drunk are you?
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