You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The best revenge is premature balding
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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