Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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