do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
