I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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