and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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