I'm really into asian looking animals
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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