so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
