also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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