that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
