I want you more than these girls want KFC
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
send nudes
from the living room?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
