will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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