So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
