hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize