went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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