Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
