so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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