Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
